Managing Negative Emotions After Collective Tragedies
By Dr Bibiana Chan
Reflections following the Tai Po Wang Fuk Court Fire and the Bondi Mass Shooting
Recent tragedies such as the Tower Fire at Wang Fuk Court in Tai Po and the Bondi Beach mass shooting have deeply affected many of us, even if we were not directly involved. These events stir powerful emotions that can feel overwhelming and hard to process. Below are some reflections and practical tips on how we might care for our emotional wellbeing during times like these.
A. Naming It as Collective (Shared) Trauma
These are not just individual reactions — they are collective trauma. Many people are experiencing a mix of:
- Deep sadness over the loss of multiple lives
- Shock and helplessness
- Anger, especially when it appears that these tragedies could have been prevented
Anger often arises from questions like “Why wasn’t more done?” or “Who should be held accountable?”
Acknowledging these emotions — rather than suppressing them — is the first step toward healing. What we are feeling is human and valid.
B. Be Mindful of Social Media Overload
In the days following these tragedies, social media platforms such as Facebook and YouTube were flooded with:
- Graphic footage
- Repeated news clips
- Emotional interviews with victims and survivors
While staying informed is important, passively consuming large volumes of distressing content can intensify sadness and anger, rather than helping us process them. This often leads to emotional exhaustion and a sense of being “stuck.”
Practical tip:
- Set boundaries around news and social media consumption
- Choose one or two reliable sources
- Give yourself permission to pause, especially when you notice your body or emotions becoming overwhelmed
Processing emotions requires active expression, not constant exposure.
C. Expressing Emotions Through Action and Kindness
One healthy way to release negative emotions is through purposeful action.
After the Bondi tragedy, the Jewish community encouraged acts of kindness — a powerful response to violence. We saw people offering:
- Floral tributes
- Donations of money or goods
- Practical help to affected families
These acts help transform something deeply negative into something life-affirming.
Similarly, in Hong Kong, many citizens have called on the government to fully investigate the causes of the Tai Po fire — such as the alleged use of substandard protection nets or disabled fire alarms — and to hold those responsible accountable.
In Australia, people are asking parallel questions after Bondi, including:
- Gaps in intelligence and early intervention
- Responsibilities of law enforcement agencies
- Gun control and public safety measures
Taking action — whether through advocacy, donations, or community support — helps channel anger into constructive energy.
D. Self-Care and Self-Compassion
After expressing and releasing difficult emotions, it’s equally important to show kindness to ourselves.
Self-care does not mean ignoring the pain of others. It means recognising that we cannot pour from an empty cup.
Simple acts of self-compassion might include:
- Treating yourself to a nourishing meal
- Going for a quiet walk
- Creating art, arranging flowers, or journalling
- Speaking gently to yourself
You might try simple affirmations, such as:
- “I am a kind and compassionate person.”
- “It’s okay to feel deeply.”
- “I am doing the best I can in a difficult moment.”
E. Strengthening Social Connection
Connection is one of the strongest protective factors for mental health.
At Community Flower Studio (CFS), we recently hosted an End-of-Year Lunch where we intentionally created space for deeper connection. We used conversation games such as:
- “Skip the Small Talk”
- “Up To Us – Share Memories”
These tools helped people move beyond surface conversations and feel genuinely heard and seen.
Practical tip:
- Regularly invite friends or family to catch up over coffee or a meal
- Don’t wait until you feel “better” — connection itself helps you heal
Even small, consistent social interactions can reduce isolation and emotional burden.
F. Ask R U OK? — Any Day
Finally, remember that checking in on one another doesn’t have to wait for a crisis or a designated awareness day.
The R U OK? framework is simple but powerful:
- Ask — “Are you really OK?”
- Listen — without judgment or rushing to fix
- Encourage action — suggest professional or community support if needed
- Check in — follow up later
Sometimes, the most healing thing we can offer is our presence.
Click HERE for more images of the floral tributes for the victims and their families.
Closing Reflection
In the face of tragedy, we cannot undo what has happened. But we can choose how we respond — individually and collectively. By acknowledging shared trauma, limiting harmful media exposure, turning pain into purposeful action, practising self-compassion, strengthening social connections, and checking in on one another, we take small but meaningful steps toward healing.
These acts remind us of our shared humanity — especially when it feels most fragile.
Click HERE for the Traditional Chinese version.