Learning Life skills that aren’t taught at school

By Dr Bibiana Chan

I’m thrilled to share some exciting news with you: through my work with CFS, our Youth Mentoring Program has been shortlisted for this year’s Mental Health Matters Awards in the Community Initiative category! When I received the good news from WayAhead (the organization behind these awards), I couldn’t help but feel like I’d already won an Olympic gold medal. That’s exactly what I wrote in the subject line of the email I sent to our CFS committee members and consultants.

This recognition, whether or not CFS ultimately wins the award, feels like a perfect 5th birthday present for TEAM CFS! I still remember the early days vividly. The original Flower Studio Think Tank piloted our first pop-up stall on Federal Parliament election day in May 2019. We handed out 100 surveys to voters, asking about their flower-purchasing habits—how often they bought flowers for themselves or as gifts. The positive feedback from that pilot encouraged me to fill out all the necessary paperwork and officially start this journey as ‘Community Flower Studio,’ complete with a new logo. In Sept 2019, we hosted our first official pop-up stall at Willoughby United Church’s Spring Fair.

Fast forward to September, 2024, and as I reflect on the past five years, I’m proud to say that CFS has achieved exactly what we set out to do—help young people learn life skills and find meaningful employment! The various activities we offer provide our youth with valuable opportunities to gain practical skills, including leadership, in a safe and supportive environment. Here are some recent examples:

1. Navigating with Google Maps to find the venue for a CFS event.
2. Engaging adults in conversation, explaining the history and Indigenous activities along our monthly bushwalk track.
3. Providing retail customer service while explaining what a social enterprise is—’Putting People and Planet first’.
4. Demonstrating responsibility and accountability—learning to prioritize commitments and manage time effectively.
5. Developing teamwork skills.
6. Writing brief reports and reflections on events.
7. Networking.
8. Creating products to sell online.
9. Advocating for climate action.
10. Calling out racism – understanding the 2 sides of the human rights coin – ‘Rights and Responsibilities’.

Here are two stories that illustrate CFS’  positive youth development practice to helping young people navigate the challenges of the modern world:

Story 1: An Asian Mother’s Struggle with Safety Concerns One day, I noticed three children from Asian background (two girls and a boy) playing a ball game in a busy car park. The game involved knocking over a water bottle with the ball, and as I walked by, I saw a car approaching. The youngest girl rushed to catch the ball, narrowly avoiding a potential accident. Concerned, I approached their mother, explaining that the car park wasn’t a safe place for such a game. She initially defended her supervision but then admitted her son didn’t listen to her. I knelt down to the boy’s height and gently explained my worries about his safety, comparing the driveway to a public road with frequent traffic. I asked him whether he considered it safe to kick a ball on a public road? Eventually, he and his siblings went inside to find a safer activity.

Story 2: Encouraging Respect for Public Property

The day after The Mental Health Services Conference, I was walking through the streets of Canberra’s CBD. Nearby, four teenage boys were also walking along. One of them began drawing on a lamp post and an Australia Post mailbox with a blue marker. I walked a little closer to them and said, “Hey, hey!”

The boy with the marker looked at me and, maintaining eye contact, said something like,

“It’s just a crayon!”.

I replied, “It’s the principle—those are public properties!”

He continued, “It’s only crayon; it’ll wash off with the rain!”

Another woman, who looked to be in her 30s, echoed me, saying,

“This is graffiti!”

But the boy kept marking another parking meter, saying, “Somebody already made marks on it!”

I responded, “That doesn’t make it right! Creativity is good for you—find some paper to express it!” We locked eyes again, and I repeated,

“Creativity is really good for you!”

He gave me a thumbs-up and said, “Have a good day!” Then the four boys walked into an Officeworks store.

I hope these two examples highlight the importance of a bottom-up approach—listening to young people and guiding them through reasoning, rather than using a top-down intervention of stopping undesirable behaviours with authority.

Notes:

Perhaps the young people who came into contact with CFS will develop these characteristics (borrowed from SCHOOL and COMMUNITY-BASED PREVENTATIVE APPROACHES: “TOP DOWN” and “BOTTOM-UP” INTERVENTIONS by Meichenbaum et. al. 2013).

TABLE 1 Characteristics of Resilient Children

Behavioural Self-regulation Skills

Control impulses and slow down

Stay focused and avoid distractions

Delay gratification

Particular abilities or talents that are valued by others

Do well at school (multiple sources of “strengths”)

Emotional Self-regulation skills

Have an easy temperament

 Manage emotions-calm self down when provoked

Persistent, show grit, and evidence a “passion” for a given area

Optimistic, future orientation and positive outlook

Hopeful

Self-control and self-discipline

Have a sense of humour

Cognitive and Metacognitive Skills

Cognitively flexible

Evidence “executive”/metacognitive skills (planfulness, self-monitoring, self-interrogative, reflective, organized).

Aware of thought processes and choices

Prosocial Skills

Committed to a relationship within and outside family

School connectedness, participate in school activities and extracurricular activities

Has “Social Capital”- – Access prosocial networks, “Guardian Angel”

Advocate for self – – willing to seek help and access Kin

Hang around with the “right” people (prosocial mentors and peers)

Believe in the need “to give to get.”

Mindful of thoughts and feelings of others

Willing to help others – – share in family responsibilities

Hold a part time job

Respect others and rules

Part of group who evidences cohesion or a collective sense of togetherness (e.g., church attendance, kinship gatherings)

Part of a group that has family rituals and routines and evidences a “collective efficacy.” Exposed to family “story-telling ” that includes positive moments, but also the ability to bounce back from difficulties (Intergenerational transmission of RESILIENCE)