By Dr Bibiana Chan
As someone who was once a teenager, a single mother raising a teenage son, and someone with lived experience of clinical depression, I felt uniquely positioned to share insights on raising resilient teens.
I emphasized to the audience that there is absolutely no shame in facing mental health challenges. In today’s world, the cost-of-living crisis, the transition back to in-person learning post-COVID, and frequent extreme weather events are just some of the stressors impacting daily life. According to a recent report by Monash University: the top three issues identified by young people as needing immediate action remained similar to previous years: affordable housing (nominated by 73% of young Australians); employment opportunities for young people (52%) and climate change (40%). However, these pressures affect not only teens but everyone.
During the forum, I held up the two pages of notes I took while listening to the youth panel. I wanted to show the young speakers that I was truly hearing them. I commended Pete* and Cathy* at for their courage in publicly sharing their mental health journeys. Their lived experiences and advice to parents on connecting with their teenagers were invaluable. It saves parents the time and effort of trial and error.
Pete, you were spot on when you said, “I can’t talk to my parents (from a Korean background) about mental health.” This remains a taboo topic for many families, particularly in Asian communities. That’s why the theme for 2024 Mental Health Month is “Let’s Talk About It.” You mentioned wishing you could have opened up earlier. I feel the same—better late than never. As you wisely noted, many young people from similar cultural backgrounds bottle things up until they reach a crisis point. Unfortunately, that often results in a visit to the emergency department.
Cathy, your frustration at not being consulted on matters like birth control at 16 struck a chord. You weren’t a child anymore, yet your parents made decisions for you, thinking they knew what was best. Even though you’re not from an Asian background, you still found it hard to talk to them. I’ve heard similar frustrations from others. One Year 12 student once told me that she understood her parents had sacrificed a lot to ‘uproot’ to migrate to a new country. It created tensions when they tried to make most of her life choices for her—like many “helicopter parents.” My advice? The key is finding common ground between parents and teens.
Both of you spoke about wishing your parents were more approachable, able to talk to you about anything without judgment. This is also the goal at the Community Flower Studio (CFS), where we create safe spaces for young people to express themselves. Recently, we expanded our “Creative Workshops Facilitated by Young People for Young People” to include families, offering a special family package. The early feedback has been incredibly encouraging. I described the positive experience of a teenager boy who created a Farm Scene at our recent Colour-Sand Glass Workshop. The peer-to-peer interaction was invaluable. Kid’s Helpline now offers My Circle as a free, peer-to-peer, safe and confidential online social platform for 12–25-year-olds across Australia!
In CFS’ workshops, we recognize how much modern life revolves around screens. These workshops offer a creative and bonding alternative, encouraging family time. Pete, you mentioned finding mental health resources with your dad—it’s about making an effort, even if you don’t solve everything. The key is for parents and teens to be proactive, so you’re not “on different pages.”
Cathy, you also brought up how guilty your parents felt when you spoke about your mental ill-health. They thought, “We didn’t raise you to be like this.” It reminded me of how my parents might have felt when I told them about my divorce. You’re absolutely right when you say, “I don’t need you to fix the situation; I just need to be heard.”
Pete, you posed a critical question: “How is mental health perceived in Korea? What are the concepts of illness in individual-oriented versus collective communities?” I had the same questions when I began my PhD at the Black Dog Institute 20 years ago. I graduated in 2007, and I’d be happy to share my thesis (summary in Traditional Chinese ) with you. You also spoke about the distrust of mental health services and how community elders or churches are often seen as more trustworthy. At CFS, we aim to be a trusted “hybrid” service, providing culturally responsive mental health support. We’re proud to be one of the three finalists for the 2024 Mental Health Matters Community Initiative Award.
To the young people, your message is loud and clear: listen to us without judgment and be present!
To the parents, attending this forum was just the beginning. You’ve heard the youth voice and learned about your local mental health services.
To ALL, check out our next creative workshop or other similar programs. There is HOPE!
* Names have been changed for privacy.